Hello Raffi!

If you need a light, I'll find a match.

2008-02-14T19:17:00.001-08:00

So this isn't a post about "what the hell, where've you been?" or about how "valentine's day has become so commercial."

This post is to say hi, hello, hallo, etc. to let you know I still think of you. I still have the same curious mind and zeal for life, but it's carefully hidden under a pile of blankets at the foot of the bed. I think I may way from this sleep-dream-life when June comes (I'm a teacher, so just think of the obvious correlation).

I'm officially halfway through the school year. With a concussion. Brought on by one of my little lovelies... I love my job, I'm fiercely protective of my students, but it's awfully hard to work when you get injured on the job. That is why, dear readers, I will awake in June. Or maybe while drinking... or when petting my kittens. Yes, kitten(s). Plural. I have two now. (and one has special needs-- he's so darn adorable.)

I think I should start writing poetry again. I think I should do art. I have great ideas for sewing, but I spend my weekends re-coopering. Sleeping. Recovering. My creative mind spins, and come Monday I've lost all those wonderful ideas.

The weekends are never long enough (we all know that, that's so plain), but this zombie-like state is not attractive or appealing. It just is. And I don't like it.

I knew my job would be difficult and taxing, but I didn't realize to what extent. I must learn to put myself first. And if this job won't allow me to put myself first, well... I'll find another.

Meet the family

2007-09-22T10:55:00.000-07:00

Okay kids.

We adopted a kitten! He is cute and lovey and all those good things that kittens are. He likes to bite my nose, which was cute at first because it was a nibble. Now it just plain hurts. He follows me around but loves to sleep in my I'm too sexy for my owners...
lap on the couch, which is too darn adorable.

I named him Schatten (shadow in German) because he loves to
follow me around. His nickname is Schatz, which is a pet name or
term of endearment you would use for a male loved one. He is frickin' awesome.

Who know that me, the dog girl, could love something so independent, yet wants to sit in my lap?

Yeah, me neither.

"Ooh, what's up?" says Schatz...

Oh, and did I mention he's a camera whore?? :)

Wooo hooo!

2007-09-03T22:02:00.000-07:00

We got our internets hooked up here, finally. We had some issues with the wireless network we were trying to make, but it's all fixed. I can email, blog, do whatever to my little hearts' content.

So. Tomorrow is the first day of school! I'm still not nervous, but part of me feels like a poseur and really do I know what I'm doing? But then I realize, yes I do and it calms me down.

Some of my friends came out for my birthday on Friday which was totally awesome. I drank about 4 cosmos in thirty minutes, so thanks for buying me a birthday drink, Megs. I was pretty loaded when I came home when my brother and sis-in-law wished me a happy birthday I told them, "happy birthday too." Haha, oops!

Saturday we went to Bumbershoot and I saw some pretty great things. First off, I saw Crowded House, then The Shins, and also Rodrigo y Gabriella (who I was pretty stoked about seeing), as well as a ton of cool art and wares that people make. It was inspiring and I wanted to buy so many pretty things, but I kept my money in my pocket. I don't get paid until the end of the month so I'm laying low... or trying to.

Megan, I picked you up some things at Bumbershoot! I also got a subscription to a magazine I think you'll enjoy reading too, so I'll make sure to share all these things with you. I am looking forward to many a night of drinking wine, and just know you can always crash out on our new futon. I know "futon" seems like a dirty word, but trust me, it's comfortable! It's what we slept on while we were in Berlin.... it was fab.

I heart you all for hangin' in there and waiting for me to come back 'round. This technical difficulty has been irritating, to say the least!!
xox, k*

Oh, hi! Is that you??

2007-08-18T22:39:00.000-07:00

We've moved! We are online! Wow, such a great weight off my shoulders. We are starting to settle in, however there are no pictures on the wall, but furniture is starting to be placed in thoughtful and functional places.

I have been working all week! Yay! I have a full-time job!

The best part it is? It's so quiet here. I heart it. No really.

I love those birds that chirp in the morning

2007-07-28T05:38:00.000-07:00

We are leaving Bellingham.

I got a job teaching in a school district down south and Mr. Man is transferring to B-vu. We're very excited, I'm slightly nervous, and we both have a lot on our plate. Jacob got the call when we were at a beer hall in Munich that he got a job. I, being a total drunken idiot, only spoke on the phone in German, but I guess that adds to the hilarity.

Ever since we've been back from Germany it's been go, go, go, look for a place to live (we didn't have one yet) and I needed to revise, edit, and turn in my 2nd draft of my master's thesis. Easier said than done. (Also the reason why you, dear readers, only got 1 picture. I'm sorry, I really am.)

Luckily with lots of love and support from my fantastic family, I am done with the 2nd draft. Signed, sealed, delivered last night at 9.30 last night. Lots of 10 hour days locked in our office sitting in front of the computer. Starting Monday I'll resume editing but for this weekend, I'm packing boxes and taking loads to our new place.

Looking back over 9 years, I don't really know what to say but thanks Bellingham. It's been a good run. You've given me friends and heartaches and I've learned a lot about myself. I've become more independent, and dare I say jaded, yet always with off-kilter optimism. I fell in love, in lust, and who knows, and met my best friend working at circuit. I still anticipate your sunrises, your sunsets, the endless gray skies, and sideways rains. There are some things that are uniquely B'ham that I won't ever forget, and I'll have to come back to get a taste for.

Belllingham, for all the shit I've given you, you've been good to me. I'll miss you.

P.S. Random parting shot from the Potsdamer Platz in Berlin:

Hello Lego Raffi!!!

Eins, Zwei, Polizei

2007-07-17T14:36:00.001-07:00

Ich bin weider heir

2007-07-16T15:49:00.000-07:00

...but I'm sleepy and jet-lagged.

There will be a post about Germany. With pictures.

It will be new and improved!!

Deutschland

2007-06-29T14:11:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I leave for Germany.

My bag is currently unpacked, everything scattered all over the floor. I had everything packed last Sunday but I thought I had overpacked (I had) and I called my parents (maybe good, maybe a bad idea) and they talked me out of taking white capris.

Why am I obsessing about this?? Why was I going to take white capris of all things? Why the hell am I packing a tube top? Who the hell knows, but something's gotten into my brain that I have to look h-o-t while in Germany and show my American sense of style... sassy, cute... yet still stay cool. What the hell?

I should be more interested in, say... cleaning up so I don't come home to a messy house. But whatever, I'm obsessing over what I should wear to a club. Like we'll even get in, I swear!

What's my deal??

They're Baaaaack!

2007-06-28T10:36:00.000-07:00

So, let me be the first to say, I'm pretty excited about this. Don't ask why, I can't say. I didn't really love the Spice Girls until I went to London in 1998. They. Were. Everywhere. But I didn't mind. They were cute, benign, and made super-catchy pop music. When I was really depressed Sophomore year of college (which would be... um... 1999?) I started listening. I picked up a shirt on eBay for 0.99, and it cost more to have it shipped. It was more of a hahaha, I have a Spice Girls shirt, and less of a Hey, I like them a lot, and I think they have talent.

I'm intrigued. I want to see them in concert, I never did the first time around because, let's face it, I was too old. They were perfectly packaged for girls younger than me (the tween, pre-teen, early high school aged) when I was busy listening to things that had more substance. But as I've grown older, I understand the value of pure sugar pop music. Yes, I said it, it makes me feel good, makes me smile when I'm down and lifts me up (damn, I just quoted a Spice Girls lyric, I think.) Anyhow, this limited 11 city engagement will only be as close to me as LA or Las Vegas. I'm about ready to book a plane reservation... but again, I have my reservations.

Doesn't Posh look scary? Scary looks Posh... Ginger looks like Baby, Baby's having a baby, and Sporty... well, she's Mel C, and looks fabulous.

Aah, funny what 10 years will do...

Word. To My Mom.

2007-06-15T19:36:00.000-07:00

I finished the first draft of my Master's thesis and turned it in today.

I'm going to go enjoy my weekend, I hope you enjoy your weekend tooo!!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Even more "so."

2007-06-08T13:16:00.000-07:00

So it's official. I signed my first year contract yesterday! I'm pretty stoked about that. I drove down with a friend. Actually, he drove, I was annoying by changing his radio station, texting, and singing in the car.

After I did the deed, I drove myself to IKEA for lunch and a good long browse. I found some things I'm veeeeery interested in. I call it a "love list." Things I think would be good ideas (and keep me away from buying cute shoes online (even if they are on sale right now)).

After that, just kind of bummed around downtown of my future city. (notice the vagueness?-- I don't put names here... then people just might know who I am.)

Came home, was totally exhausted... yawned a lot. My mom's coming up this weekend to help me crack the whip on my paper. I just..... yeah. Well... anyway. Upped my meds and they're not kicking in right yet. Motivation is a problem but chocolate and sweets are not.

I'm going to go eat something severely unhealthy now.

Peace out.

So.

2007-06-05T13:42:00.000-07:00

So I freaked out when I found some gray hairs in my bangs. I mean, I can deal with the gray hairs on the rest of my head I guess, but when they infiltrated my bangs.... I just can't deal.

Anyway, my hair is a smidge darker now.... oh well.

I'm going to get my bangs cut today. They're poised and ready to take over my face. Tomorrow I'm going to the dentist. Hooray. I'm pretty sure I've got a cavity. Last Friday I picked out new glasses frames. Yeah, they're pretty cute. Black plastic with, get this, yellow on the inside. I joked they're my "bee frames." I just might sting you.

Last night Jacob and I saw Knocked Up. Yeah it was pretty funny. Katherine Heigl is pretty cute in the movie. I laughed out loud... I really needed it because I haven't had much reason to smile lately.

Hmmm, what else? Yeah. I've got nothing. Back to um, work.

Crap I Want but Don't Need

2007-05-29T22:05:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty much in love with these shoes. You can't have them. I want them! I need shoes for a wedding I'm going to be a Bridesmaid in August. The dress is black and veeeery long. These shoes are funky and well, me. I would wear these again. The other shoes I'm seeing are heeedeious. I would never wear them. Period. End of story. I think I may just wear my Teva flip-flops and she'll have to deal if I don't find something like these...... or just buck up and buy these......

I also have been eying this skirt, for like, ever. So, I bought it. Finally. Now I'll STFU already!

I won't tell you where I got it, though (Not Anthropologie, baby)... but I will tell you I didn't pay full price! (A girl's gotta keep some secrets!!)

Okay, it's normally about this time I get obsessed with something and it's usually because I'm trying to distract my mind. So, this is the almost-June edition of hey, I buy crap for myself, TVYM!!! And, I always want something I know I don't need, shouldn't get... blah blah blah.

See, I've even bored myself now. The end.

I'm absolutely through

2007-05-27T15:27:00.000-07:00

I'm done with being a nice, caring neighbour. I can't care anymore because now my niceness really only seeming to bite me in the ass, and I just can't do it.

Friday was the day to end all days. I never want to do that day again. The only reason why I intervene on two adults fighting is because they have a 9 year old in his bedroom listening to all the noise, the yelling, the fighting, and the hitting. So he slept at our place that night. Needless to say, no one got much sleep in between the argument, talking with the boy, the police in the apartment around 4am getting statements from my husband and the boy.

This is not my deal. I can't be a go-between for the husband and wife. I have enough problems of my own and enough to deal with in general. I just can't believe things and life sometimes, yanno? I cannot put myself on hold for someone else's crap. (My own life and personal things are suffering).

I now am operating with these people on a closed-door policy because I have my own life, my own things, my own problems.... and I just can't deal with their problems anymore... it's now disrupting my life.

I just can't anymore. I just can't.

I've fallen in love...

2007-05-24T10:11:00.000-07:00

... with a new ice cream flavour!

Earl Grey at Mallard here in Bellingham. It's so freakin' delicious. Jacob bought me a waffle cone on Tuesday and I loved it.

Here's my other favourite flavours of ALL. TIME.
~black licourice
~cardamom
~pear
~cookies and cream
~Swiss chocolate cherry
~strawberry (makes the most perfect shake. Period.)

Runner up (when I'm feeling nostalgic)
~Orange sherbet and vanilla ice cream (almost should be eaten with a wooden paddle ala a Dixie cup)

What are your favourite flavours? Do tell!!

Dreams, Death, and Dying

2007-05-19T23:07:00.000-07:00

You know how those Dream Doctors say that you never actually "die" in your sleep? The moment you're about to die, you either wake up or something...?

I died in my dream last night. I hovered over my own body, unzipped the body bag and saw my own face. I died while helping someone. The details were very fast and somewhat hazy, I'm sure as an event may happen like that in real life. (Although I wouldn't know, I've never died before. Not technically.)

It was very strange and surreal. Eventually, I came to terms with my own "death" and wandered around, but no one could really "see" me, except for those others who are already "dead."

Made me wonder, really, where do our spirits go when we die? Do we roam the earth with the living? Do we view the aftermath of our own deaths, our funerals, our children growing up, our spouses and families coping and grieving? Do we watch as our families expand, and meet our great-great-great grandchildren?

And then I wondered... why are my dreams so vivid, so real, so life-like, so in tehcnicolour, that I cannot forget them for days on end?

A Good Day

2007-05-15T22:36:00.000-07:00

Today was one of those good days.

I woke up. I cuddled with my husband in bed. I got out of bed, made coffee. Worked on my thesis research, looked and worked on my outline, read my email. My graduate advisor got back to me on my 3 questions I have narrowed my topic down to and she liked them. So based on her advice, I picked my favourite (I already had one), and worked like a busy bee.

I packed my bag around 10am and walked up to school accompanied by some lovely music in the bright sunshine. I picked a Buttercup and held it in my hand as I walked up to school.

My meeting went well. My outline was approved, my topic is approved, and my question is approved. I can finally start writing. After all the research and whatnot, here I go. I just need to get one more person on my panel, so I need to do that tomorrow (note to self.)

I decided to stop in with a professor I have an outstanding assignment with. (outstanding as in I have an incomplete, not as in I got a sticker on this literature review that said "outstanding" with a cartoon penguin on it). She was out in the sunshine and she asked me, "can I give you a grade yet?" We went back to her office, she gave me credit for the incomplete K grade (from the quarter I was diagnosed with MS) - and I got an A!

I then stopped by the certification officer who deals with the State on teaching certificates and told her I had a grade. I'm now going to get a new certificate with my new endorsement on it!

I came home. My husband called me on his lunch break. I was chatting and telling him about my grade point average now and then we hung up. Then I hear upstairs, "Oh my God, the baby's not breathing, what do I do? Call 911, Call 911!"

I run out of the house, to which the woman is carrying the child, whose body is limp. I can imagine she's headed to the on site manager's apartment so I tear off running after her. I have her stop, I tell her I can do first aid and CPR. I check the child's pulse, he's got one, but he's not breathing. He's blue and his eyes are starting to roll back into his head. I have to tell myself to pull it together, now is not the time to fall apart. I give him 1 rescue breath and I don't feel it went in. Reposition, re-tilt, breathe in. Chest rises. Child gives a slight wheeze. I give 2 more breaths and colour starts to return to the baby. At this point, the paramedics arrive and take over. The baby is fine but has a high temperature. The aid car takes the child to the hospital for tests and I checked later this afternoon that he'll be just fine!!

Baby's safe. I got a good grade. I'm getting my teaching endorsement. I'm okay for writing my paper. I just might graduate in August.

Today's been one of those life-affirming days where I feel I am where I should be.

So I took the afternoon off and sat in the sunshine. I deserved it after sitting inside for the last 5 days.

Next Week Is Better

2007-05-13T21:49:00.000-07:00

I love the FDA "above the influence" commercials that feature the cartoon dog with the flag. It always makes me smile and make me wish I had a puppy, and a flag, and a puppy that wants to fly a flag, a puppy that has word bubbles coming out if its head, but most importantly a flag with a puppy head on it.

Please. Enjoy.

A Post About Bees

2007-05-11T06:57:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking a lot about bees, and moreover the lack of bees.

This has caused me to do my own browsing on the subject (I dare not say research, because I'm not even delving into that level).

Here's a couple articles for you to enjoy. Welcome to my world.

Buzz Off - The Economist

Collapsing Colonies - Spiegel Online

Holy Crap!

2007-05-10T16:41:00.000-07:00

Three times! In ONE day?

I'm so over writing my paper. As in . So. Over.

I would much rather update my blog. Obsessively come back to see who's left a comment (so far, no one), but then realize I haven't updated in over a month so it's my own damn fault. Go look at others' pages, why haven't they updated today? Check my pages... no comments. *sigh* Stare at Document1. I hate Document1. Document1 will soon become something important.... I hope. If we only realize what Document1 could become...... It could become my golden ticket.

Woah! How'd you get so lucky?

2007-05-10T11:00:00.000-07:00

I've emerged from my sickness. I'm fine now. All is well, but I think my BlackBerry got sick. It got sick and it died!!
This is not my fault that it croaked. It's got some sort of hardware / software malfunction (and not a user malfunction). I was on the phone with support for 2 hours last night, and I maintained my cheerful disposition, but I'm still sad that it's not working.

Good news, on the upshot I'm getting a handset replacement. (This is not the first time the software/hardware thingy happened -- but now it doesn't even identify a network -- scary.) The bad news is I have to wait 3 or 4 days. The other bad news is, I'm currently in an outage. Meaning, I cannot receive inbound calls from people who do not have T-Mobile (I think...) or from landlines.... (That's the first time that's ever happened, too.)

I'm not pissed, mind you. Just... out... of... touch. Oh well, I've got a paper to write, and a graduation to attend... in August.

Long Awaited MS Walk Post

2007-05-10T10:29:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone, the MS Walk was GREAT! As in, it was tons of fun! But COLD!!

Here's some pictures from the event:

You can feel free to add your own captions. I don't feel like it... Blogger just deleted about 3 of the pictures because I was trying to do that. So there.

I know I haven't updated...

2007-05-09T08:48:00.001-07:00

and I will when I'm not sick with the flu.

Too stressed to even THINK!

2007-04-12T07:55:00.001-07:00

Too stressed to even THINK! Good thing I'm an escape artist...

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

This is a little too close for comfort...

2007-04-03T06:49:00.000-07:00

My neighbor gets shot and killed. No really.

Last time I checked, I lived in Bellingham. That's right. Bell-ing-ham. NOT Seattle.

Seriously.

When Life Hands You Lemons...

2007-03-17T21:54:00.000-07:00

Don't make lemonade, buy shoes, silly!!

This is making me feel better. That, and talk therapy. :)

Oh and one more thing, a pet peeve if you will, if you say you're gonna call me back, call me back. If you say you're gonna call me tomorrow, call me! Otherwise, please just don't say it. Thanks.

I guess I was right.

2007-03-13T22:30:00.000-07:00

Looks like I was right, there will be a journey to take. I'll be taking the veeeeery emotional route, thankyouverymuch.

I haven't really stopped crying since Friday. I mean, I stuff the hell out of my emotions at work and in social settings but I come home and collapse. I'm functional, I'm breathing, I'm here. I'm trying my goddamn best.

I can't tell work about the recent symptoms I'd been feeling. I'm such an advocate for myself, and that sucks. To get a job, I have to do their dance and play their game. If I say "hey, you, I've got MS," they'll say, "no way we'll hire you, biatch, you'll cost us way too much money."

My grandma went into hospital over the weekend. My parents had just come home from visiting her, and went back to see her at 11.00 at night. They got to the hospital at 1.00am and she was hooked up to an IV. The doctors suspected it was dehydration. The next day (Sunday) she'd rallied and was back to her old self, however the doctors kept her overnight to run more tests.

She has cancer. I found out today the prognosis is not good at all, so I'm going to be spending what little time we have left together with her. If I have to go down during the week, I want to be there. I'm struggling with the fact that I'm selfish and I want her to be around always and that she's 93, had a very full and wonderful life, but it still makes me sad anyway. I know I'm lucky to have grown up with all grandparents. I might've taken it for granted, but I love her.

My parents are no longer going to the land of giraffes and lions, and I'm sad for them, but family is most important. They're right. Family is always the most important.

I'm going to go cry some more now.

peace of mind

2007-03-11T17:22:00.000-07:00

This weekend is offering exactly what I needed... A little quiet, a little bit of peace, a lull of quiet amid the chaos of the thoughts clashing in my mind.

I have some mixed emotions about the current educational situation... But this too shall pass and I cannot keep stressing about it any more.

My husband is supportive as well as my friends.

There is an air of hope on the breeze, but.methinks a journey to to take to get there.

sigh

2007-03-07T21:15:00.000-08:00

Today was mind-numbing and heart-wrenching, all in the same day.

How is that possible, you ask? Easy when you work in a public forum that I work in. I love it, please don't get me wrong, but today was just... off.

And then I came home and erupted into a fit of tears.

But on the bright side, my mom sent me an email with a giraffe in it! Things can't be all that bad.

Pssssssssst!

2007-03-05T21:24:00.000-08:00

I'm slightly frustrated.

Who loses a pair of glasses? Me, apparently. I must say, this was on a day I was on an outing in Downtown Bellingham with my students. Jacob went to the places I was at today to see if I left them in any of those places, but alas, no glasses. Where the heck did they go?! I think, honestly, they fell out of a pocket in my jacket, or a pocket in my backpack, or just fell out on the bus. I haven't seen them since last Wednesday and I'm wearing my old pair (which are super cute too), but I just hate losing things.

I blame losing things and forgetting where I put things entirely on the MS. Yes, most likely that's a little on the irrational side, but it makes me feel like I'm not losing my mind entirely. And that is like a big band-aid on everything. Wish I could put that big band-aid over my eyes, though.

If I've forgotten anything lately it's not because I don't love you or don't think about you... my mind isn't really processing at it's best. I call this "jumbley mind." And sometimes when the words aren't really coming out right I call that "jumbley mouth." Yes, it happens, and yes it's frustrating. But, at least I can still walk. I take what I can and move on.

Hell, I may find a pair of cuter glasses. :)

glasses... half full, half empty, or lost?

2007-03-04T16:44:00.001-08:00

Now I am not much of a glasses wearing girl. I would much rather wear sunglasses than my everyday glasses that help me see. However the case may be, I had a really rad pair of glasses.

Focus on the past tense (pun not intended). Between Wednesday and Friday I managed to misplace those glasses and now I am wearing my old ones... With the old prescription in them.

Lets's just hope by some stroke of dumb luck I find them... But I think it may be a lost cause.

Food is good... well, sometimes.

2007-02-24T23:05:00.000-08:00

Friday I went home from school. Let me take that back, I was sent home from school.

I was with my students in the library and they were doing important educational things independently. As I wandered amongst the books I was looking at the plethora of fiction books in the high school's library. As I tilted my head to the side to read some of the titles, I almost passed out.

Now, this never happens! As in, ever. I quickly made a dash to the bathroom because I was certain I was going to be sick. I wondered if I had passed out what anyone would have done and what it was related to, if anything. I haven't told anyone at the school I have MS, and how funny would it be to have a student teacher passed out on the floor in the library? Not funny, I'm guessing, but I bet my students would've thought it was a hoot.

The class period was over soon, grabbed the kids and went back to the classroom, where I literally doubled over at my desk in pain. My cooperating teacher came into the office and asked me what was wrong because I didn't look good. Apparently I'd turned very very white and pale. My stomach was cramped up in about fifty billion places and I just wanted to die.

I left post haste, hoping I'd be able to make it home without being sick... and luckily I was. Turns out, I had food poisoning. It's so strange to think that something I'd eaten the day before just knocked me out.

I was upset I missed so much school, but... I did catch up on some much needed sleep.... and some Sex and the City. But still, not a good enough reason.

I'm feeling better but my stomach is still tied up in knots, and I think I'm off Macaroni and Cheese for life now. :(

50 Days...

2007-02-23T21:29:00.000-08:00

Only 50 days left until the MS walk!! My team is still small, where is everyone?!

Here's a link, in case that picture link wasn't working for yous.

Go Here.

Kaisa's Stars!!

2007-02-20T19:29:00.000-08:00

My team is now up and running!! I've set up my team for Bellingham and will set up a team for Seattle as demand allows. Please let me know if you're interested!!

Giraffes

2007-02-13T22:28:00.000-08:00

I love giraffes.

In fact, I'm jealous of my parents because they're going to Africa. They'll get to see giraffes in their natural habitat.

I want to go to a zoo.

But I can't seem to get out of this town long enough to go to the zoo. At the zoo, I could see a giraffe.

But, my husband is the sweetest. For February 13th (we don't celebrate the 14th) he got me a toy giraffe. I already have a stuffed animal giraffe (and before you pass any judgement, no I'm not too old.) My new giraffe looks like this:
Naturally, she is much smaller than this, but I love it. She will sit on my desk at school and keep me company when I sit and do paperwork.

And maybe, just maybe, we'll go to the zoo on Sunday.

For you, Dear readers...

2007-02-11T12:59:00.000-08:00

I have been a bit behind the times lately. So I may break up all the fun news into a series of fun posts that you may catch up on. Or I might be lazy and just dump it all into one looooong post. Let's see what unfolds.

Okay, So Christmas was great! Both Jacob and I were really sick, and that was crummy but we still had a wonderful time in Port Angeles. I think the best part was sitting in the hot tub overlooking the Strait of Juan de Fuca (not John the F*cker) with a rain hat on. I'm sure if anyone was able to see me they would have laughed out loud. I was attempting to swim in a hot tub, but as anyone knows, there's just not enough water in a hot tub to swim in!!

The other fun thing about holidays is that we bring our camera but always forget to take pictures until we're on the ferry or unpacking boxes. So here's a fun shot of Jacob pretending to be that famous Transformer Boxatron.

And if that's not funny enough, here's a great shot of us being silly on the ferry (because, hey, that's what we do...)
Yes I'm laughing really hard and that little yellow thing in my mouth is a cough drop. I told you I was sick, and I know I look it in this picture. But I was full of that holiday spirit.

On to New Year's and such. Yeah, that was great too and guess what? We don't have pictures of that, either. We spent it ringing in the new year at the "Last Laugh of 2006" at the Up Front Theater here in lovely Bellingham. It happens to be the theater owned by this guy:
If you don't know who he is, well... you don't know how to laugh, apparently.

Starting in January I started my student teaching. This is a brief picture of what my classroom kind of looks like (without any pictures of my students because I just can't do that legally.)

That picture was an accident, but I decided to keep it anyway.
I love my placement, I'm in a High School Lifeskills classroom (read: special education.) It's fabulous and my students are great. We do lots of useful things and also bookend some life skills activities like grocery shops, riding the bus, etc. with fun activities like going bowling and swimming. I love it. :) I spend my days there and miss them on the weekends.

On Friday January 26th, I made the cut. A healthy 10" was donated to Locks of Love. I like my short hair, some days it's a bit of a challenge but, whatever. It's hair and it will grow back and I'll most likely donate again.
Here's the before:
Here's the cut:
A ridiculous middle:
And me in my natural habitat:
This was overlooking Deception Pass as we were heading to the Strange Brew Festival held in lovely Port Townsend, WA (not to be confused with Port Angeles). Two different places, people. Not the same, Got it? We took our friend Jason (who is from the south and loves the Pacific NW and beer) to meet up with Jacob's bestie, Sean. I've got some lovely snaps of the festival for you to peruse as well:

Cheesy ferry shot! Awww, I love it!

A little dark, but still a good shot, PT is in the back! Jacob on L, and Jason on R. For all the ladies out there, Jason is single!

Sean (who is single too, ladies) and I and a lovely sunset! :)

A typical Kaisa "self-portrait..."

My MySpace angles.... Heh.

Jacob's MySpace angles...

A typical Jacob self-portrait. (Too bad you can't see his gold tooth!!)

Wow, I hope you're not disgusted with the plethora of pictures. We have been snap happy lately! Jacob's mouth does look a little gross, yes, I'll admit. But in his defense he had been drinking a lot of strange beers and then we ate food and he was drunk, and well... it was fun. And funny. And I love his picture taking abilities.

I hope I'm no longer MIA, Arwen. And Amanda, Megan, Jeannette, Cori, and everyone else who said, "wow, you haven't posted lately, get on it!" well, I hope you could wade through all the lovely shameless pictures of my lovely face to get the gist of what I wanted to say. I'm sorry I kept you in the dark. Yes I missed you. And I leave you with one last picture... one that isn't disgusting!

Jacob's dancing with himself!!

Keeping Up With Apperances

2006-12-21T23:35:00.000-08:00

In my mind's eye, I think I am thinner than I actually am. I see myself running through a field like an anti-allergy commercial and I'm the one who's got a figure, yet I'm still svelte. Mind you, I'm not obese, or fat (I hate that word) even, I could stand to lose a couple of pounds but honestly who wouldn't? That's not the point.

I was telling my friend today I would like to switch bodies with a thin woman. He said "but they have no figure. You have a figure."
I protested saying, "Well, I was wondering what it would be like just to be petite."
He said, "Well I could help you with a workout routine if you want to lose weight..."
To which I interrupted, "Oh no, you misunderstand me. I'm fine about my weight, most of the time, but whatever. Sometimes I just want to know what it would be like, you know?"

Picture Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn. Two women celebrated for their styles and undeniable sex appeal. Marilyn is considered more of the sex goddess than Audrey... and for what? Because she had a voluptuous body? I love Audrey's style. I adore her movies. Yet, I won't ever be considered an ingenue or a gamine. I won't fit a pair of capris like she would, or wear a pair of cigarette pants (ever!) due to the fact I would look like an ice cream cone. (Thank you Stacey and Clinton). Yet, I will fall into a curve-hugging dress just fine, thank you very much, and happily wear a leopard print scarf. I will most likely wear a pair of large black shades that either woman would have adorned.

I find that as I get older there's less I'd like to show the world about my body. I'm not a teenager, not excited to flaunt my new curves. Yes, my curves are a blessing. A close friend of mine recently admitted she would consider butt implants.... I'd happily give her some of mine. Another friend would like her cups to runneth over... or at least get rid of the padding that helps to accentuate what is there. I'd donate some of mine as well! I find that the mystique and allure of a woman lies more in the Audrey Hepburn category... more buttoned-up, sophisticated, intelligent, yet still gorgeous, which makes you sexy.

What I'm trying to get at here is that there's been quite a few recent comments lately towards "the girls" by perfect strangers and not to me. Sometimes I feel my curves can be a curse, as the first impression I make is the "woooowwww...." and I know they're not looking at my pink lipstick or my green eyes. For instance, a couple guys at a bar made comments such as "nice, nice" and "I like, I like," to my chest. I really just wanted to punch them in the face right there. Not classy whatsoever indeed. I know society is obsessed with appearances, especially breasts. I can't help it. I did not have my surgically enhanced, I'm just made that way. I feel like I've been perfectly covered up, especially it being winter and all, yet the comments still come.

What was most perplexing when I told my male friend he said, "Well how would you feel if they didn't notice?"

And I thought to myself, "There's a lot more to me than just what lies outside below my collarbones."

Yum.

2006-12-06T10:56:00.000-08:00

Not much to say right now, but yummy.

I love Heroes but I officially (yes, on the record) tune in to see him...

Yum. Sendhil is hot.

Dear Blog,

2006-12-02T00:31:00.000-08:00

I am feeling lonely. I cannot poinpoint the reason why.

Love always, Kaisa

You Won't Let Those Robots Defeat Me, Yoshimi

2006-11-30T13:15:00.000-08:00

Dontcha just want to know my seduction style??

Good, now we can cuddle. And drink cocoa. And solve your problems... hey, we can watch a movie too.

Mind if I fall asleep when we watch the movie? I promise I don't snore.

What's your seduction style? Are we compatible? Oh, I think I'm going to go make some cocoa. Let's cuddle. Honestly.

Snow... and other stuff.

2006-11-28T20:18:00.000-08:00

I finally dug my car out of it's snow cocoon today. The fun part is I didn't have a broom (I don't know what happened to it) I used the dustpan (it's plastic). Shoveling out 14" of snow off my car is something I have never experienced before!

Speaking of the snow, the main day it fell was Sunday. I went for a snowy walk as the snow fell and made 4 snow angels, just for old time's sake. Falling back into that amount of snow was soft, like a pillow. It embraced me and then I moved my arms and legs as wide as I could. One snow angel wouldn't do... I had to do 4. I found out Sunday evening that school was cancelled and watched "The Family Stone" and then went to bed. Mind you, I was coming down with a cold that day, and I know I looked terrible, so I didn't mind that I cried at the end of the movie. :)

Yesterday I tried to focus on school work, but it was hard as it was Jacob's day off. We hung out, made lunch, tea, whatnot. This morning I got up with him and made him coffee to shoo him out the door to work. The call center was open, but I wanted to make sure he got there safe and with a warm belly at least. As soon as I hopped out of bed, though, I called WWU's storm line. School was again, cancelled. I attempted to do more homework today but was just spinning my wheels, just like the cars I could hear out on the road.

My hill is littered with abandoned cars. There are some in ditches, some on the side of the road, and 3 in the middle of the road at the top of the hill. It's very very icy here, and last night's low was 10 degrees outside. I won't be surprised if school is cancelled again tomorrow, because there's no place for the ice to go.... and the sun only heats it up and the cold wind re-melts it.

Tomorrow night it's supposed to snow again... this weather is quite incredible. I'm not minding the time off from school, and it's quite honestly the best time to get a cold.

For now, adieu. Charlie Brown Christmas is on TV, and it's my absolute favourite Christmas special ever.

I'll type more tomorrow... especially if there's no school, which I can't imagine there will be. If there is, I'm too sick to make the trek up to school in this 20 degree world. I can't get pneumonia now!!

Why haven't I posted lately?

2006-11-16T12:34:00.001-08:00

This chat with Jeannette sums up why I haven't posted:

me: * gouges eyes out with something nearby at hand *
Jeannette: fabulous
me: * bleeds out eye sockets *
* realizes she used a melon baller *
* screams *
* dies *
* wakes up and realizes it was all a bad dream *
Jeannette: what's wrong? :(
me: heh, just being over-dramatic
Jeannette: I love it!!!!
me: heh. I hate school.

Happiest News of Today

2006-10-19T12:41:00.000-07:00

I found out that someone may want me as an intern for next quarter in a placement I desire! I go in for my meeting next week, and I'm excited about that.

Hmm... this may be a good time to put my myspace profile back on private.... I hear they check that stuff out. Last year's halloween costume with a beer may not make a good impression.

Anyway, still no updates on the costume ideas. I'm grasping at straws. IF you say I should be a barnyard animal due to my "straw" comment, I'll eat my hair.

Then off to Seattle... it's gonna be a fabulous day with my girls!

Soliciting Help!!

2006-10-17T11:48:00.000-07:00

I need help. I know, I know, professional help you can't give me, but you CAN give me Halloween Costume ideas!!

So, throw them at me! What do *you* think?!?!?!?

Update...

2006-10-16T11:31:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to make it public I'm in remission currently. I had another MRI 2 weeks ago and currently I have no active MS lesions, so that's good.

The bad news, I've had a migraine for 5 days. From one head trip to another, I guess.

Self-Affirmation

2006-10-05T10:48:00.001-07:00

Yesterday as I went out to lunch with my good friend Casey in downtown Bellingham. After lunch, we wandered down to the little shops and a piercing shop and just generally had a good time. On our way back to the car, I decided to do the "stick pony" (where it looks like you're riding a stick pony, but without the stick pony) up to the stop light. The pedestrian crossing had just turned to "Don't walk" but I decided to run anyway. Then as I was making up my mind if I was going to cross the street again, the other pedestrian crossing sign turned to "don't walk." Mid-run through the crosswalk, I see a police officer on the other side of the street. Deep in conversation with a Bellingham citizen, he looks over at me and I'm sure I blushed with guilt for breaking the law, but with a huge smile on my face nonetheless. Instead of getting in trouble, he looked at me, smiled and checked me out.

This made my day. It's not every day I get checked out. :)

I have a new reader!

2006-10-03T10:18:00.000-07:00

Dear friends,
Thank you for your patience as I get my sh*t together and come around to posting again. I feel a renewed sense of energy towards posting and find it quite theraputic. For the last month I have not found the energy to write, but feel it coming back.

Today I have another MRI. This will determine what kind of MS I have, so stay posted for that. I also wanted to let you know, I have a new reader! That's right, Stephanie and John's cat, Wyatt, has decided that my blogger is interesting enough to read. He did say, however, that I should write more about mice, catnip, and cat naps. We shall see about that one....

(See, he really has opened up my page on the computer!!)

You are my #42

2006-09-11T19:31:00.001-07:00

Here you have it, folks. It's blog #42. I sincerely thought there would be more by this point in time, but there isn't. It's just a disappointment you'll just have to learn to live with. Just kidding.

So, I'm visiting my parents in Camas. I didn't fly in under the radar, there actually aren't that many people that I know here anymore. I took the Amtrak down from Bellingham and thoroughly enjoyed myself. It was similar to an airplane, but the scenery was just fantastic. Don't get me wrong, looking down at clouds is great, too, but for once I actually enjoyed the trip from Bellingham to Camas. I think it was because I was not driving.

I like it here. I have actually forgotten how much I like it here. I also enjoy answering my parents' phone and people mistaking me for my mother. We have similar sounding voices (which, hey, isn't a bad thing!) If I want to hear how strange my own voice sounds but don't want to get the creepies, I just call and talk to her.

Anyway, onto the significance of blog #42. Most of you might think it's a shameless "Hitchhikers Guide" reference. Ha! Fooled you! It isn't!! Once upon a time when I was dating my husband I would go over to his house when he and his friends were "dorking" (read: playing Dungeons & Dragons.) I didn't want to seem like the annoying girlfriend, so I would keep myself occupied and eat their pizza that they would order. Anyway, so while I was hanging out, I would pick up one of Jacob's many books. The first book I happened to pick up was "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." I started reading it and Jacob said that he didn't think I'd enjoy the book. But I continued to read out of sheer chagrin. Guess what? I didn't like the book. BUT the significance comes with one day after I told Jacob I loved him he said, "You're my 42."

Geeky, but cute.

blackberries

2006-09-02T23:32:00.001-07:00

I am posting from a BlackBerry I borrowed from a friend. I have read my friend's pages, yet I cannot comment. Please trust that I am thinking of you.

Arwen, I love your hair. Megan, let's get together soon. Jeannette, thank you for the flowers.

I am ready to go back home...

25 Reflections....

2006-08-31T08:50:00.000-07:00

(I have no excuse for not posting other than not having internet access.)

It's that time of year again, kids. Here are my 25 reflections on being 25 and my one wish for the coming year and older age.

1) Grad school can actually be fun.
2) Actually going to class, doing homework and working ones' ass off will create a 4.0.
3) Being sick on one's birthday last year... not so much fun. :( (in my case an upper respiratory infection).
4) Retail is an all right job until the holidays come... (then it's time to leave post-haste).
5) Silliness in teachers (this one especially) is encouraged.
6) Holidays are best when shared with loved ones.
7) Friends that can be called on in difficult times are the best!
8) Laughter truly is the best medicine.
9) Absinthe cocktails aren't as great as they sound on the menu.
10) Boys who learn to love hockey are adorable.
11) Speaking of which, the return of hockey season.
12) My husband sharing my obsession of the World Cup.
13) Buying new furniture.
14) Making goals for the future.
15) Learning to speak a new language (German).
16) My first baby shower for a friend (Amanda's).
17) Discovering that taking time for myself is vital.
18) Learning to actually throw things away.
19) When I'm having a bad day, organizing one drawer helps.
20) Learning to be an advocate for myself.
21) Keeping in touch with those friends that have shaped my life (too many to mention... I hope you know who you are.)
22) Learning to say "I was wrong." and truly mean it.
23) One diagnosis isn't the end of the world, it just changes the slant and scope of things.
24) I have a greater respect for the medical community.
25) Family is so very important... now more than ever.

My wish for the coming year (this is no secret!) is travel. I hope to be in Deutschland in spring.... :)

I am anticipating the end of Labor Day Weekend. This, my friends, marks the end of the pool job and back to my home, my husband, and my everyday life. I'll write more soon, many promises. Before the weekend is over, I will get to see my family, as we're having a reunion in Seattle (very convenient for me) and I'm just so excited. That is the best birthday present ever.

S Club What?

2006-08-16T00:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday when I was roaming around my local (in the Seattle metro) Safeway store I heard an S Club 7 Song.

In a Safeway? In the frozen foods department?

Yes, my friends. Yes.

P.S. I <3 happy hour at resturants. It rocks my socks.

Black Shirt Club

2006-08-09T16:03:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture I slyly took of the "black shirt club."

The bars over the eyes are to protect the innocent (.... or are they guilty?)

Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go

2006-08-02T05:40:00.000-07:00

Happy anniversary to us. Instead of being woken up by my loverly husband, I awoke to the sound of my work mobile going off at 5 am and not even remembering I'm not in in the same town as my husband. The people who called were looking for my boss but can't seem to get the number right. Now I can't get back to sleep........ Hurrah for being a grown up. At least he apologized for waking me up.... but seriously.

Gah, so annoying.

Looking forward to seeing Mr. Man tomorrow night.

Making fun of people in 8 easy steps

2006-08-01T21:45:00.000-07:00

Okay, I lied. There probably isn't even 8 steps... there's only one: have dinner with me, Megs, and Jeannette. In Bellevue. Before happy hour.

Yes, my dear readers, I am a cynic. I'm sure you're very surprised to hear how jaded I am at a young 25 (soon to be 26). I'm a pretty nice person normally, but some things just beg to be made fun of.

I don't dare to make fun of the people that were eating by themselves, or the people who are normal looking. (My types... very little makeup, not overdressed, nothing... um, plastic?) I wouldn't have even dreamt of it, they seemed nice, normal, whatever amiable adjective inserted here. However I will make fun of those people who spent so much time looking hot their efforts had an adverse effect. Our favourite table was the group of four men who were all wearing black shirts. We were convinced that they were part of a "black shirt society" in which they went out to eat on the 1st of every month. All most likely gay. They were joined by "black jacket guy" that was also wearing a hat. He wasn't fully going by the black shirt society's rules, so we guessed he was bi. The woman with a face pulled tight like she was experiencing zero gravity that joined him only added to our suspicion. Directly across from me (other than my fantastic table mates) were a couple who looked like they fell out of a Dolce & Gabbana ad. Both foreign... no really, accents and everything, and very very tan. They both looked so damn perfect. They ordered food, but they mainly picked at it when it came and we were surprised to see that they smoked. Okay, we weren't surprised. We were actually surprised they ordered food. At one point Jeannette asked if the foreign woman's head was attached to her body, because when she turned to the side, she disappeared. All you could see was her blonde mane. I'm not joking.

That, my friends, is Bellevue. This evening also reminds me why I don't want to live there. (My fabulous friends don't live there, either.)

Home again, home again, jigity-jig

2006-07-30T00:04:00.000-07:00

Today was a long stressful day. I know the stress was not from what I was doing, but the past weeks' events and this coming week's work.

Just. Tired. Now. But haven't had any productive sleep. Must pack and get on the road by 9am. More fun later... I think I'll have an internet connection this week! Hooray!

Compare and Contrast

2006-07-28T13:26:00.000-07:00

This is my wonderful husband. Please note the bird nesting in his beard. I thought he made a pretty good gnome. :)

It seems as though my numbers are down...

2006-07-27T22:46:00.000-07:00

so here is a picture to bring in more viewers! (Or commenters at least.)

Steven Colbert Can Make Fun of My Fair City Any Day

2006-07-27T10:42:00.000-07:00

Learn more about my city I currently reside in and my congressional district. Talk with my representative Rick Larsen. Laugh along with us as my fair city is bashed.

Thank you for taking your time from flip-flopping to talk to me.
The Management

Life, MS, and stuff...

2006-07-25T14:47:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about my life as of late and my diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. I know I complained of the heat in a previous post, and I know that most Northwesterners are all melting in the heat. However, I am coming to grips that heat is disabling for people with MS. I have been feeling more pins-and-needles in my feet and now legs lately than I have ever had. (Think of when your feet go to sleep and then wake up... and that tingling pain doesn't cease.) It sucks, and I just deal with it. At least I'm not bracing myself up against a shopping cart when I'm trying to buy some groceries. When I feel like this, I tend not to leave the house because I don't like the looks I get from people in the stores. This has never been much of an issue in the past pre-diagnosis. I don't care what people think, and that's been a credo I've tried to live my life by. If I were to adapt and change to fit everyone's needs, then I would be a chameleon and I would not have any convictions of my own.

I got my Disabled parking placard in the mail last week. So far, I've only used it once and that was the day I went to the movies with my husband and a friend because I couldn't feel my feet. I looked silly, I'm sure, trying to walk in the movie theater and the older people in the theater were giving me that pitying "I wonder what's wrong with her" look. I felt as though I stole their parking spot... although that day I think they had more mobility than I did.

My MS is not a secret. This blog was created in mind that I would have days like this and that writing would be the best way to process my MS diganosis. Every day is an unknown for me. Yet, I will continue to go on living my life and making my goals and plans, yet I just may need to take more breaks than usual. I may not walk as fast as I used to, but I will get to the endpoint eventually. I might be the slow one in the back, but I'll make sure that there's a smile on my face for everyone to see. I have thought about purchasing a MS wristband so I may educate those I come into contact with and say, "hey, I am the face of MS. This is what it looks like." I honestly try not to let it down, but there are just some days where the world seems a little darker. Within the next couple of days, the sun comes out (figuratively) and all is fine again... except when it's just too damn hot.

When I feel like I need to give myself a pep-talk with those crummy days where my MS is rearing its ugly head, I just remind myself that I was given an exclusive invitation to be a part of a group... like an MS clique. It may not be funny to you, but I have a strange sense of humor and it helps me deal.

The Pool (as promised)

2006-07-25T09:04:00.000-07:00

I don't have much to say lately. It's been quite hot and I've been doing my best not to melt. I understand it's not as hot in my town as it is where I grew up. It's still hot to me anyway. There's a reason why I live in a temperate environment because I just cannot handle temperatures 85 and higher.

So I enjoy the pool facility where I work in the summers. It's a pretty kick-ass aquatic center that has 2 water slides, a wave pool, a lazy river (a currented kidney-shaped circle), a kiddie area with a zero-depth entry (think beach shore) and a lap pool. Granted, this is a larger pool environment, so the staff members are numerous. I enjoy these kids, though. They are high-school aged and into college-aged students. They have so much energy and laughter which I enjoy. I think this job is a good match for me because there is some problem solving on a day-to-day basis that I relish in... and the most interesting comments I have ever heard.

Anyway, other than that I've got to finish a bunch of school work today. I've got a meeting tomorrow and I don't want to look like a loser. :)

More when I think of some witty comments later.

EDIT: I just remembered the best quote from the pool from last week. Two boys were talking to each other. Boy one says to the younger boy, "I'm going to the wave pool." Boy two, not seeing the wave pool says, "Is it wavy?" What he was meaning to say was "are the waves on?" but did it in a far more fun and wonderful way. I love kids.

Back to Civilization

2006-07-20T23:53:00.000-07:00

Back in Bellingham... I am so happy to be home. I missed the familiarity of it all and liked the relaxed nature of it. Granted, I love my job. Like, a lot. I have re-learned to say "like" a lot in all of my statements as I work with a ton of high school and some college-aged students. (more about the job later.)

I did not have internet access while I was in the 'Tron. I meant to drag the laptop I borrowed to the nearest Starbucks to take advantage of the T-Mobile hotspot (represent!) But I didn't sleep too well in the city, no one's fault... so I never got it together enough to go spend some time sitting in the coffeeshop other than grabbing some coffee to cram down my throat to stay awake. The lack of sleep I think was due to the new surrounding. Anyway, I missed my internet connection (amongst other things.)

The only reason why I'm awake now is because I am waiting to pick up a friend at the Bellingham airport. I'm really tired, but his mom called me to ask the favour (how sweet!)

I missed everyone, and I especially missed the blogmunity. Heart you all.

Pool Daze

2006-07-16T08:23:00.000-07:00

I had a little post and it got eaten. So, here's the gist:
~Resume my position as manager of an aquatics facility for the remainder of the summer today.
~It is Mr. Man's birthday and I wish I wasn't working today just to hang with him.
~I am still doing my best beg/borrow/and steal internet access. I've borrowed a laptop fro my good friend but apparently the place I'm staying for the next week doesn't have any unsecured wireless connections (smart people, yet bad for me.)
~However, there is a Starbucks down the road. I can T-Mob (yes, represent) HotSpot it there.
~Right-o, going to take Mr. Man to go get a b-day coffee and breaky (that's breakfast to yous.)
Love always,
Kaisa

Metacognition

2006-07-14T11:09:00.000-07:00

As I was driving to Seattle yesterday I thought of the term "settling down." Is it true that in our single days we are considered wild, free, and live without abandon? We find a mate, and experience the first blushing with love and all the "firsts" a couple goes through. Then as life progresses, the newness of the relationship rubs off and the couple is expected to settle down. Whether it may be with a ring and a wedding, or moving in, or eventually buying a home. Does getting in a relationship require the participants to become sedentary? Is being in a relationship a "settling" process? Do you just "settle" for your chosen mate, even though the love has been pledged? We are supposed to trade in our nights out, pitchers of cheap beer, crazy nightlife, and mattresses on the floor for bedding from Crate & Barrel after a light cocktail from glassware from Pottery Barn. Is this what they (and I use the term loosely) mean by "settling down?"

I still want to live my life wild, free, and without abandon but am conflicted with the "responsibility" part of becoming an adult. I think I still need to mull these thoughts over.

For Good Measure

2006-07-13T14:40:00.000-07:00

I love this video. Enjoy this until you get another post.

Nothing like milk carton love (and Blur).

Someday I'll Fly Away...

2006-07-13T14:25:00.000-07:00

I'm going away for a few days (read: one week) and don't know if I'll have ye olde internet access.

I will do my best to beg, borrow, or steal any connection I can get (and even go to lengths of going to someone's house to use their computer) to do so. I apologize for ditching you, but I'll be back and with loads of fun stories (and images.)

So, I leave you with one now:

Random Post Of The Day...

2006-07-12T13:50:00.000-07:00

It's CAT FOOD!

Because I Find It Interesting, That s Why

2006-07-12T12:36:00.000-07:00

Zidane apologies for his actions.... Well, sort of.
The FIFA investigation is what intrigues me. It is always fun to watch people react to controversy.

Best quote... "Zidane is my hero and I have always admired him a lot." -Materazzi.
I don't know why I find this so humorous, but I do.
(In a false accent) It's, how do you say, ironic?

I Know Wikipedia is Dumb...

2006-07-12T00:27:00.000-07:00

But can I get a heck yes!!!

Camas is famous!

(Ignore the stuff about the Potholes, I'm going to have to go in and edit it... they got it alllll wrong.)

Eating My Words

2006-07-11T17:36:00.000-07:00

I feel as though I'm eating my words on a recent comment I made on Arwen's page. I was just trying to back up my statements so it didn't seem as though they just fell out of my head.

Yes, I realize Wikipedia is not fact and that it can be changed as others see fit. However, I was trying to use one concise resource that backed up my statements about headbutting incident involving Zinedine Zidane and Marco Materazzi in the World Cup final.

My main objective is to point out that things aren't always what they seem and there may be a back story as to why Zidane headbutted Materazzi. In our world, actions speak louder than words, and Zidane's headbutt was the act seen 'round the world. Please bear in mind I am not trying to defend either man's actions or words, I just found the back story interesting and may be credible.

Please peruse the following (credible) links for your viewing pleasure (again, not Wikipedia.)
Thanks,
The Management (also known as the graduate student that feels the need to cite everything.)

FIFA Investigates Zidane Red Card - BBC Sports
FIFA World Cup Against Racism - FIFA / Yahoo!
Football Against Racism at the 2006 World Cup - FIFA / Yahoo!

Oh, and I forgot to tell you...

2006-07-10T17:29:00.000-07:00

Remember this post? I went to see the dress at the store one week ago. The dress is not very nice in person and the fabric is dissapointing. My mom kept saying, "that's too bad, the styling is really cute."

Glad I didn't buy it after all... that and it didn't go on sale.

Practical Presents

2006-07-10T10:45:00.001-07:00

Last Friday the Mister and I were running errands. As I was getting my tires rotated on my car, we deicded to go to the mall. My intention was to by him a pair of shoes for his birthday, I know practical, but the man needs shoes. We park and go into the mall and look at the various shoe stores but he doesn't want to try on anything, he just wants to look. As we go to store to store, I'm growing increasingly more antsy as he won't try on any of the shoes. We pause outside a clothing store that sells a small selection of shoes and while Jacob is browsing, I get distracted by the world cup merchandise sitting on a table by the front door. I rush in, and see one world cup Germany zip up jacket in his size and bought it. I guess it's not practical and he was there, but I know he will enjoy it! The best part? It was on sale. :)

Zehn Jahre

2006-07-07T13:31:00.000-07:00

The reunion post:

I had a great time at Jacob's reunion. I cannot describe the myriad of faces and colours that passed over my eyes in 3 days, but certain faces with names attached stand out.

Friday night we took the free shuttle from Port Angeles to the Seven Cedars Casino outside Sequim. Once we arrived, I saw Jacob's cousins and friends that I have known and met in various settings. The casino was fun; however I didn't spend a dime on gambling. Instead we spent it on eating and drinking, so much so we missed the 10.30 shuttle back to PA. That meant we had to hop the 1.30 shuttle back. Instead of waiting for the "drunk bus" we hitched a ride with one of Jacob's old friends who he managed to connect with in 10 years. She was great and her husband was awesome. The four of us hit it off and promised to keep in better touch rather than just every 10 years.

Saturday night was the big 'do that we spent $65.00 for the dinner/dance. The dinner was buffet-style and we sat around and visited. Most people were overdressed (including myself -- note for my 10 year reunion wear pants!) After dinner and some conversation, the band came out and played. The band was all right, but they were far too loud. All conversations ceased while the band was playing so Jacob and I retreated to the lobby where we could actually hear people talking. One guy came up to me and said, "I haven't seen you in 10 years!" My response to that was, "in fact, I think it has been longer," seeing that I had never met him. Overall, this night was kind of lame. The band took a break and we chatted some more, but when they came back on the stage, we left.

Sunday we were just intending on coming come, but we were talked into going to the picnic with families in the afternoon. I am actually glad we went that day because we were able to visit with more people on a nice sunny afternoon that was really casual and low-key. After that fun was over, we hopped in the car and headed to Seattle, where Jacob was leaving me for the evening. My parents were meeting up with me the following morning because I had a neuro-opthamologist appointment to see if a random illness I had 6 years ago had anything to do with my MS. Luckily, that wasn't the case and we came home (parents and all) to Bellingham.

I guess that brings you up to speed on that front, and I haven't been posting lately (sorry). Mom and Dad were in town through the 6th of July and then I've been running, running, running to do things. On another note, I resumed my job at the pool in Renton. Yesterday was my first day (Saturday) and it was great to be back. Met up with the girls for sushi and drove back home. Luckily I will not be doing the Bellingham-Renton-Bellingham commute in one day again this summer, because I don't know if I have it in me.

I'm With Stupid

2006-07-06T06:58:00.000-07:00

Spent the long weekend in Port Angeles at the husband's 10 year reunion. This was a great deal of fun. I'm still processing all that aspect and quite honestly haven't had a chance to think about it since. Sunday on the way home, Jacob and I saw Miss Kassi in Kingston (Washington, not Jamaica.) It was great to see her, but because of my dumb self losing track of time, it was far too short.

In fact, it's still far too early for me to be even functioning (especially without the aid of coffee.) I'm going to remedy the situation and I'll most likely post more when my parents leave my flat later on today.

I'll leave you with the only good picture of the weekend:
(Jacob was getting irritated by me at this point... but that's the point, innit?)

Favourite Names of the World Cup

2006-06-30T08:02:00.000-07:00

I have some favorite names of the World Cup. (Mind you, the emphasis is on their names, not necessarily the players themselves.)

Shaka Hislop - goal - Trinidad & Tobago (Yes, his first name is Shaka.)
Pimpong - defense - Ghana (Maybe that's where the popular sport originated?)
Schweinsteiger - midfielder- Germany (literally translated, his last name is "pig climber.")
Vogel - midfield - Switzerland (his name means "bird." Also, there's a saying in German that if someone "has a bird" it means figuratively that they have birds in their head, or they're crazy.)

Now if we want to talk about size...
Grosso - defense - Italy
Petit - midfield - Portugal
Maxi (Rodriguez) - midfield - Argentina

The final 4 teams are standing. Germany will play Italy and Portugal will play France. This has been an interesting shake-up to the World Cup after Brazil was eliminated earlier this afternoon.

I hope everyone is enjoying thier weekend. I'll post more about the reunion, one more night of fun!

Who's With Me??

2006-06-29T11:41:00.000-07:00

A serious post, for you serious viewers:

The National Multiple Sclerosis Society's MS Walk is taking place in Seattle on April 15th, 2007. I realize that is some time in the future, but I wanted to put a little bug in people's ears about it.

In Bellingham the walk is on the 14th. I am interested in creating a team of people to do the walk with me. From what I understand, you can do the walk without fundraising, but the major factor is to fundraise and raise awareness about Multiple Sclerosis. I do not know at this time when the Portland-area walk is. I will keep you posted!!

I'm anticipating doing the Bellingham and the Seattle walk, and possibly the Portland walk (with my Camas/Vancouver/Portland friends and family.) If you're interested, please let me know. Either post here, or email me: kaisastar at yahoo. This could be a great experience!!

xox,
Kaisa

P.S. I'll make an iron-on transfer for shirts... something we can wear on the walk and the days preceding it!

Spongbob Sparepants

2006-06-29T10:28:00.000-07:00

Last night Jacob and I were hanging out with our neighbour Jeff. At one point, Jacob mentioned how much he thought "the Hoff" was cool. Seriously.

What?! I don't understand this underground revival of David Hasselhoff. As in I. Don't. Understand. He never was a good actor or singer and now he's a judge on America's Got Talent! Granted that show is mindless summer fluff, but seriously, David Hasselhoff?

Also, Jacob brought up the "Spongebob Sparepants Movie" and we all erupted into a fit of giggles. I think he was trying to say that the Hoff was great in the Spongebob Squarepants Movie, but we never got that far because we were laughing too much.

There were other things that I thought were funny, but I think they lose their effect in print. Memories....

Fast Times at Port Angeles High

2006-06-28T14:25:00.000-07:00

I can't begin to describe how quickly time is passing. I turn around and another month seems to be passing. Where is the time going??

Speaking of fast times, we're going to Jacob's 10 year high school reunion this weekend. It should be fun, or at least interesting. He really was undecided about going -- rather I talked him into it, after I'd mailed the check into the reunion coordinator. Now, he seems to be excited about seeing his old classmates.

I have been stressing ever so much over the "what to wear" aspect. Usually when we go to Port Angeles, I tend go incognito (i.e. large sunglasses, no makeup, lack of hair styling, jeans and usually Jacob's high school sweatshirt -- hey, it has my name on it now.) However, since this 'do has been labeled "girls get out your little black dresses... guys dust your suits off..." I immediately stressed. When I tool the IV steroids back at the beginning of May, I gained about 5 or so pounds. I can't tell you the exact amount because I do not own a scale. I will tell you this, however, my shorts from last summer don't fit and some of my skirts/dresses are a little tight. This, my friends, is how I gauge weight loss/gain.

After scouring the discount stores (Ross, T.J. Maxx, Target), I could not find an appropriate sundress that was inexpensive and yet dressy enough (or in some cases, not slutty or on the opposite end of the spectrum too matronly -- this message is for you Ross Stores...) to wear to an evening event of dinner and dancing. Therefore, I dove into my closet. It is then I noticed that I own several nice dresses in one lovely shade of black. I also have a floor-length red Nicole Miller stunner thanks to Megan; however I think that's just too much for that evening. I mean, c'mon the height of fashion in Port Angeles is shopping at J.C. Penney's, Maurice’s, Gottschalk’s (a crappier version of Meier & Frank), and Fashion Bug. I settled on a simple, curve hugging LBD (little black dress) because it forgives the fact that I have more curves than before (if that was at all possible.)

So dear friends and readers, this weekend will be absent of some posts. Please raise a glass to the graduating class of Port Angeles High School, class of 1996 (or just give them the finger). They'd like that.

I Digress

2006-06-27T11:37:00.000-07:00

I couldn't sleep last night. My mind was just not settled, though my body was tired. I spent the first couple of hours lying in bed, doing my absolute best to get confortable and settled. I did get up, however, and retreated to the computer. After I noodled around on the internet for awhile, I retreated back to bed. As soon as I was about to drift off, I heard the most terrifying screaming from a woman telling a man to get the f*** out of her house. I jumped out of bed, and peered out the window. Then I decided that I should call the police. As I searched our flat for my phone (who knows where I put it), I turned on the lights in various rooms searching for it. By the time I found it, the man had gotten in his car and drove away. I guess they saw the lights on in my apartment and she convinced him to leave.

Once I was able to get to sleep I had dreams about this unknown argument. I don't know why people treat each other awfully. Needless to say, it was another night of non-restful sleep.

Hot Hot Heat

2006-06-26T09:23:00.000-07:00

No, this isn't a post about the popular Canadian band Hot Hot Heat; rather, this is to describe the state of the weather and how it affects my MS.

Of all things, my feet are swollen. They're swollen every morning (when they really shouldn't.) The heat exacerbates my fatigue and when I wake up in the morning, I'm exhausted. I feel as if I haven't gotten enough sleep, or at least productive sleep. I know I went to bed at a reasonable hour, but I had a very vivid, non-restful dream.

I am only hoping it cools down soon, because I can't handle the heat. Now I know why I don't like summer and I have good reason not to like it. Heat = MS flare-up.

On a brighter note, I have a neurologist appointment this coming Friday and we will determine if the Rebif (see previous post) is working out. Once that happens, I'm converting to a different mail-order pharmacy (my medicine has to be shipped overnight because it needs to stay refrigerated). This new online pharmacy charges me $40.00 for a 3 month supply, rather than $40.00 for a 1 month supply.

Anyway, I'm going back to beat the heat. Have a good day!

For all you people who like to color, click on the above image and you can print it out and color it in... I'll be having a coloring contest for those submissions posted as replies to this blog. Now print it out and get coloring!!!

Whose Drugs Are You On Anyway?

2006-06-22T11:58:00.002-07:00

Today is the day where I finally go on my full dose (44 mcg) of Rebi f. I am hoping to get lots and lots of stuff done today because I think I'm going to feel tired tomorrow (which is normally what has happened when I have increased my dosage.)

This is what the syringe looks like: (guest-starring my hand)

And this is what the Auto-Injector looks like:
I honestly don't mind doing the injections, especially with the Rebiject II. I inject in the night time to ward off the flu-like symptoms (mainly so I can sleep through them).

I never see the needle and all I really have to do is load the syringe, press a button, and count to 10. Then I pop the syringe out and drop it in my very own sharps container, which I keep under the bathroom sink. The process takes about 4 minutes or so; 2 of those minutes are where I massage the injection site with a cotton ball. Easy-peasy.

In case you were also curious, here's where I can inject:
I have yet to try the back of my arms (which I don't think I will do as my MS nurse said it was okay if I didn't go there.) But I normally sick to rotating my stomach and my rear end. I injected the top of my right thigh 2 weeks ago and still bear the scar of an injection site reaction, although that's finally starting to fade. On my thigh one could obviously tell where the needle had gone in, which is normal, but there was a lot of blotchy redness that went laterally down my leg. Not pretty, but I guess that doesn't matter because my shorts don't fit (thanks to an increased appetite when taking the Solu-Medrol IV steroids at the beginning of May.) So, no one has seen me in shorts or has seen the injection-site reaction unless I have specifically shown them.

I've never been one for a 2 piece bathing suit or exposing skin, so the stomach and butt/love handle areas suit me just fine. :) However, I do wear short sleeved and sleeveless shirts in the summer, so don't expect to see any injection marks on my arms.

World Cup Woes

2006-06-22T10:52:00.000-07:00

Such a sad day for the US Men's National Team, as I'm sure you've heard by now that they are not advancing onto the next stage of the World Cup. I would have liked to see pictures like this: Brian McBride with a fist held valiantly in the air while changing jerseys with the other team. He *almost* had a header into the goal, although I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

I was hoping for more from the US Team but I turn my sights to cheering on the other world players. I have been far more attentive to this World Cup than others (mostly because the games are live at watchable times -- especially Korea and Japan World Cup '02), that and I am doing "independent study" to finish the classes from last quarter (read: slacking off while the footie's on.)

Enough of this jibber-jabber. I'm going back to work, but with the thought that Brian McBride is my new hero. Did you see that hit he took on his face vs. Italy?? He's the man.

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to....

2006-06-21T10:31:00.000-07:00

Okay. So, my birthday is coming up. For all you people that have money burning a hole in your Louis Vuitton logo purse or your Hermès Birkin Bag, this is what I want for my birthday. (Please note the dripping sarcasm... I don't want gifts, but these are just too gorgeous not to share!!)

This dress is so beautiful, but so expensive. I think it would look dreamy on me. Yes, I just said dreamy.

I also am in love with the DKNY Be Delicious scent. Is it because I'm a teacher? Or is it because the bottle is shaped like an apple? You be the judge...

I've still been reading too many fashion magazines... but I've gotten over the self-loathing. Now I just want extremely nice things. :)

Vanity Fair

2006-06-19T16:30:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling vain today. I keep obsessing over my skin, my hair, my blemishes (acne, people) on my face.

I guess that's what I get for looking at fashion magazines. They always make me feel vain and strive for the unattainable airbrushed perfection. When did I surbscribe to these beliefs?

The doctor is IN...

2006-06-14T10:51:00.001-07:00

I took a problem vacation yesterday. I'm on call starting now!

(Take that as a I'm-feeling-better-thank-you-very-much.) LOL.

Frustration over something I cannot control...

2006-06-13T13:56:00.000-07:00

I am kind of irritated today. I have had 2 days in a row that have resulted in being lethargic, grumpy, and generally unpleasant. I know this is not my fault and I wish there was something I could do about it. I am usually full of energy and happiness, however today I'm just full of *blah.* I know it's the MS, I know it's also the fact I am on a titration pack, meaning I start with the lowest injections possible and work my way up. I am currently on 22mcg of my medication and that makes me really tired the next day... I didn't expect to be out of it today. Tonight is another injection and I have been trying to get to bed early but even that doesn't seem to be helping. Grrr.

It doesn't make any sense to be frustrated with something I have no control of, yet I have no control which makes me even more frustrated. Today I should to grocery shopping, working on my classes that I didn't finish last quarter and getting my files in order (I have a great deal of medical stuff to file now.) Not to mention I need to run over to my various doctors to get the paperwork for yet another appointment I have in July. I am seeing an opthomologist specialist to hopefully diagnose something I had 6 years ago as an MS attack. Perhaps this will help and I may not have to wear glasses? I want to talk to the doctor about getting Lasic (if that would help) or if glasses will be the way of life... perhaps contacts? Who knows. I have a bevy of questions and most of them are unanswered.

I'm trying to be helpful and supportive to my friends but I don't know right now if I can deal with their problems. I like the fact my friends trust me and can tell me anything. Right now, I'd rather they just call me and say hi. I don't want to talk about my problems, I don't want to talk about their problems, and I don't feel like helping. I'm glad tthat a few of my friends call me just to talk and help me work through this.

However, this is not the Kaisa I am... but it is what it is right now.

Eye Candy

2006-06-07T10:41:00.001-07:00

Okay, I haven't been keeping up on this as I thought I would... and I am feeling great, for your FYI. (Inside joke if you don't know). I just thought I'd put up some eye candy so you have a good day.

Without further ado...

Why do I find Matt Damon so attractive? (Even after all the "Matt Damon" jokes from Team America?) Just look for yourself! So hot!

Some Inspiration...

2006-05-17T23:29:00.000-07:00

As I was cruising the web, I found this picture from Kylie.com to be really inspirational to me. My God, the woman had breast cancer and still is fabulous!! Now, I will be channeling my inner Kylie. :)

On an unrelated note, I am applying for a disabled parking permit for the days when I have difficulty walking.... Should be good parking for Christmas shopping!

(My weak attempt at humor in times like these is sometimes off, my apologies.)

To wine or to whine?

2006-05-11T17:00:00.001-07:00

I have overwhelming dizziness today. I did not go to class and I've been lying on the couch all day at home. I am guessing it is due to the steroids... but at any rate, it is not fun.

If this is what MS is, I don't want it.

Welcome...

2006-05-10T11:31:00.000-07:00

Hi, and welcome!

I am using this new-fangled technology to keep everyone up-to-date (and keeping myself sane) in regards to recently being diagnosed with MS. I hoping that you'll read this and check back often.

I will be using this also as a diary as to how I'm feeling, which changes every day. :)

So, welcome. This will be a fun ride.